BENT NAILS / Zizzles

Becoming Requires Patience

A couple of years ago, I dipped my toes in the website world. I started this blog alongside of ScribeLight MUSIC for fun. Gently and gradually, I learned to dabble in the back office of a website, link words and worlds, chose colors, connect social media, deal with feeling overwhelmed by my lack of knowledge, despite a Master’s degree and too many years of school.

I also learned how to mess it all up in the process.

This week, I gained my sea legs. ScribeLight has launched its own domain and this one is all mine. Glory to God!

I’ve been thinking about all of this in relation to the process of becoming. We take a step out of who we were expected to be. We become more of who we are with its huge learning curve. We become aware, as well, that this process affects those around us.

 

Today, the phone rang in the middle of far too many details to finish in this “becoming” process. My arm picked it up while my mind screamed, “No! You have too much to do. Don’t! Don’t! Hello?”

It was the vet, strangely enough. “Mrs. Markovich, how is your husband doing on his treatment?” This vet had told my husband about a new, natural treatment for cancer, an alternative to chemo that is now saving his life. That’s a blog post of its own.

I put the computer mouse down and listened, but I admit a clock ticked in my mind. A dropdown list fell in front of my eyes of all I had to get done. Worse, he asked a big favor. Could I make a list of websites, contacts, supplements, dietary routines, names, addresses, etc. that were working for Rich? He had people he wanted to give it to from time to time.

First thought? Are you kidding me? That will take hours to compile. Not that I wasn’t going to do it. I really wanted to.

Just not today.

You know that nagging feeling when you’ve been caught redhanded? How could I say “wait two weeks” to this particular man? It must have been important. He had never called before.

But, God, you know how busy I am. Didn’t I MENTION I was swamped with all this web stuff and my son’s wedding in two weeks?

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A thought fluttered through my mind. What if someone was desperate? Grateful to see an inkling of compassion for humanity in my heart today, I asked the vet (hoping to hear NO), “Can the basics wait or is there someone who needs this information immediately?” Good question. Good sign of recovery. That’s right. I have options.

One man needed immediate help, he said. That man could have been my husband on the day the vet was probably too busy with other patients to stop and share the information he had. Thank God for rude awakenings.

I had to sit myself down and ask, “Does all of this web stuff and branding junk really need to get done today? Can that part wait? Can you wait? Doesn’t my ‘becoming” include this part of who I am, a humanitarian with a heart for healing?”

In my drive to change and grow and produce, I came dangerously close to denying a treasured part of myself.

Patience. I needed patience in the process. Instead of rushing through projects holding my breath, my life needs to breathe. Patience is how I will maintain peace in the midst of elaborate road construction.

Many, many thanks to my precious web designer, Karen at We Make It Digital, who slugs it out with transfers, registrations, and codes as I write out the details for the vet. And many thanks to my husband who will help gather all that information.

And, see? In my becoming balanced in all these aspects of what makes me true to my destiny, I made good fodder for my blog.

Can you relate?

NOTE: If you came here for new compositions and CDs from ScribeLight MUSIC, wait a week or three and then visit: http://scribelightmusic.com. I’ll have some video scores up for you to hear. Don’t step on any nails. It’s under construction, remember, so please be patient. I’ve got a very special wedding to attend.